We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Now please eat two steaks!		This song is sung to the tune of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, Part 6.
Two steaks you will eat, But at separate meals! And steak and eggs doesn't cow-ount, So don't pull that crap! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Please, please, eat both steaks! Each year Double Steak Day is celebrated, On the third Sunday in December, Or the second Sunday, if the third is too close to Christmas. Don't worry, we'll let you know if that's the case. We know that it's a hard rule to remember!		There is no logical justification for the prohibition against steak and eggs, except my deep-seated disdain for all things breakfast-foody. (And I think at one point I was under the impression that the steak in "steak and eggs" wasn't really steak, the same way that Canadian bacon isn't really bacon. Stoopid Wikipedia.) For a complete list of dates, check out the Year by Year page.
We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Dude, seriously, eat two steaks!
Have one steak at home, And another outside! Have one with your family, And one with people you like!
We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Steak, steak, steak, steak, steak! We said eat two steaks! No less and no more! It's specifically DOUBLE Steak Day! So don't eat one, twelve, or four! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Also, don't eat 2.124653! If - and only if - you're a vegetarian or can't eat steak for medical reasons, You can eat two grilled-cheese sandwiches instead, But how you get them into the steak house of your choice Is entirely on your head! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We apologize to - but unfortunately cannot accommodate - Vegans! You have to play checkers, At least once on Double Steak Day! If you want, you can make a wager, And the worst player pays! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! Eat two steaks or your dead to me!		You know, the choruses can't all be winners. Some highly acclaimed steak houses *cough* Schmeter Schmoogers *cough* serve customers from one giant cut of meat. This is okay 364 days of the year, but not for Double Steak Day. You must eat two distinct steaks, not two servings of steak meat that roughly equal two steaks-worth of steak. Some have speculated that the phrase "entirely on your head" means that you have to transport the grilled-cheese sandwiches into the restaurant on your head (perhaps beneath a hat). This speculation is correct. Also un-accommodate-able: 1. Vegetarians who are lactose intolerant. 2. Anti-milkitarians who are vegintolerant. 3. Jerks. Checkers has been an annual tradition since the first Double Steak Day, frequently with an improvised board made out of napkin bits - which is how the ancients played it.
Double Steak Day is abbreviated: DSx2! Do not abbreviate it "DSD" or, There will be sudden, unexpected, and unpleasant consequences! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! We wish you a Double Steak Day! MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ROOM!		For anyone who's confused, the "D" stands for "Day of." And the "S" stands for "SDrew mistyped SDx2 but stubbornly refuses to admit mistakes." Yay, steaks!