The quickest, easiest way to learn everything you need to know about Double Steak Day is to learn this fact-packed song. It's soooper-catchy AND soooper-annotated!
 

 

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Now please eat two steaks!

 
  This song is sung to the tune of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, Part 6.
Two steaks you will eat,
But at separate meals!
That's usually lunch and dinner,
But as of 2015 you can now try steak and eggs at breakfast and see how that feels!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Please, please, eat both steaks!

  For years there was an arbitrary prohibition against steak and eggs on Double Steak Day, but the rule was rewritten during the Great Rules Convocation of 2015 to be more breakfast-friendly.
Each year Double Steak Day is celebrated,
On the second Sunday in December!
There used to be a much more complicated rule,
But it was super hard to remember!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Dude, seriously, eat two steaks!

  Another rule changed during the Great Rules Convocation of 2015.

Prior to that change, Double Steak Day could fall on either the 2nd or 3rd Sunday in December because reasons. For a complete list of dates, check out the Year by Year page.

Have one steak at home,
And another outside!
Have one with your family,
And one with people you like!

 
   
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Steak, steak, steak, steak, steak!

We said eat two steaks!
No less and no more!
It's specifically DOUBLE Steak Day!
So don't eat one, twelve, or four!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Also, don't eat 2.124653!

If - and only if - you're a vegetarian or can't eat steak for medical reasons,
You can eat two grilled-cheese sandwiches instead,
But how you get them into the steak house of your choice
Is entirely on your head!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We apologize to - but unfortunately cannot accommodate - Vegans!

You have to play checkers,
At least once on Double Steak Day!
If you want, you can make a wager,
And the worst player pays!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Eat two steaks or your dead to me!

 

  You know, the choruses can't all be winners.

Some highly acclaimed steak houses *cough* Schmeter Schmooger's *cough* serve customers from one giant cut of meat. This is okay 364 days of the year, but not for Double Steak Day.

You must eat two distinct steaks, not two servings of steak meat that roughly equal two steaks-worth of steak.

Some have speculated that the phrase "entirely on your head" means that you have to transport the grilled-cheese sandwiches into the restaurant on your head (perhaps beneath a hat). This speculation is correct.

Also un-accommodate-able:
1. Vegetarians who are lactose intolerant.
2. Anti-milkitarians who are vegintolerant.
3. Jerks.

Checkers has been an annual tradition since the first Double Steak Day, frequently with an improvised board made out of napkin bits - which is how the ancients played it.

Double Steak Day is abbreviated:
DSx2!
Do not abbreviate it "DSD" or,
There will be sudden, unexpected, and unpleasant consequences!

We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ROOM!

  For anyone who's confused, the "D" stands for "Day of." And the "S" stands for "SDrew mistyped SDx2 but stubbornly refuses to admit mistakes."

Yay, steaks!